Monday, January 18, 2010

Feeling Quite Small At Small Group

So last night at small group, one I go through my church The Rock, and I felt so out of place. I recently decided I am going to pull away from The Rock and seek out another church. I arrived at the location and really thought I shouldn't have gone and could have had more fun elsewhere. As a few more people got there, I started to find myself doing voice overs in my head outlining what I knew and thought of everyone in the small group, very similar to the ones that Christian Bale's character did in American Psycho. I have written these down and will post them in one year, so that will keep you stayed tune. It made me know I need to move on, even during the lesson I couldn't bring myself to focus on the lesson because I have heard it before and felt I already practice it. The lesson was about being hospitable to your fellow man, I don't want to sound arrogant but I feel I already practice it, I know I should do it more but sometimes its not always possible. Over the course of the year in this small group, I feel I have not been challenged by the lesson, half the time we aren't learning we are serving the neighborhood around where we meet, which is good but my opinion is we should be learning and digging deeper.

I like the people in the group but how we function as a small group and how when people stop coming no one except me or one of the girls ever question where they are, talk about leaving someone behind :( I was excited for this small group when it started but that excitement has all but dwindled away, because it was not what I had expected.

So now I am faced with the decision of how soon to fully unplug from the rock, I want to by the end of the month but I know it wont be until the end of February. I checked out a huge mega church on Sunday with a friend but I feel I more comfortable in a slightly smaller arena. So I am checking out the church I went to before I started at The Rock, Mercy Vineyard, I feel I never gave that church a chance because I never checked out on of their small groups and really want to this time around to discover the community aspect of it.

So thats my story of the start of the end of my tenure at The Rock


Tierney said...

it's interesting that the lesson was on being hospitable yet no one seems to care when someone is missing. Isn't part of being hospitable in this kind of setting making sure people are present and if they're not finding out why? Could it be this small group is not actually hospitable itself? Sad to think both you and I could name a number of people who have stopped attending in the past 6 months ....

Amber Lee said...

As a friend and as a sister in Christ I have to say that what you wrote about our small group is rather painful to read. In all honesty I had tears in my eyes about it. These are really hurtful things to say on such a public forum. I wish you would have talked to one of us first. I'm so sorry that you feel this way about the Rock.

Amber Lee said...

I hope that didn't come off as harsh. I want you to know that you are a valuable part of our small group. Both you and Tierney.

~Miss Raquel said...

Although I don't attend your church, Adam, I do think that this post could've been written a bit more subtly. Even without you knowing that people from your small group would read this, I think it was a bit uncalled for. I'm not saying that I don't think you should state your opinions, but I do encourage you to do so "in love and affection for the brethren". I'm off to see your "apology post".
Doing a great job on this blog, Adam! :)
~Miss Raquel