Sunday, March 20, 2011

My rules on seeing movies

The following are the rules I tell people to follow when seeing movies with me, if a person violates any of the rules, unless you have a very valid excuse, which is rare that I decide it to be valid, I won’t see a movie with them ever again.
  1. Must arrive at least 10 minutes before the listed time that the movie starts. I usually suggest 20 minutes so in case people get held up by things on the way over.
  2. I pick the seats, I have seen enough movies in my time to know the select seats to sit in that make for optimal movie viewing. They are the ones in the upper section of seats and right in the middle. This is why Rule #1 is so important to get to theater early to be able to claim these seats.
  3. If I, or someone in the group of people saves a seat for you, and you don’t show up or show up after the movie starts, I won’t see a movie with you again. This rule harkens back a midnight screening of Avatar when it came out and I saved a seat for someone and they decided to have a fight with their significant other in the lobby and they never showed up. So I look like a tool during the whole movie in a sold out theater with an empty chair with my coat in it. Not cool.
  4. Don’t talk during the movie unless both of us have seen the movie, I don’t want to hear your smart remarks on my first experience of a movie, I want to fully experience just the movie and that’s it, don’t talk to me or others around you. Even if you think you are the quietest whisperer, others, that you didn’t come with, and don’t want to hear you, can hear you talk, and its very disrespectful to the movie goers around you. There is an exception to this rule but it has never come to fruition for me. If we are in a theater and our group of people, whether it be 2 or 10, are the only ones in the theater for the movie, then comments are allowed because I have always wanted to have that experience, but it happens so rarely, I’ve had the opportunity to do so.
  5. Don’t go on your cell phone during the movie, EVER. I hate people that do that, it is annoying and distracting, if you absolutely have to check your cell phone, quietly leave the theater for a brief moment, and check it outside.
  6. If you go with your significant other to a movie with me, don’t make out during the movie, that’s highly annoying and just embarrassing that I came to the movie with you, holding hands is a maybe, but definitely a big NO on the making out, if you want to suck each other’s face off, stay home and do it in the privacy of your home.
  7. When the credits start, that does not mean its time leave. If we followed rule #2 we are in the middle of a row, and if it’s a packed theater we’ll have to wait for people to leave. Enjoy the end credits music and maybe there will be an easter egg at the end of the movie, and that latter hope is why I sit through every movies credits in a movie theater, just in case.